In about one week I will have spent exactly one year on night shift. While I love the hours, the flexibility, the lack of politics and doctors buzzing about, and the ability to actually hold my patients hand and have an hour long conversation with him/her, it's been hell on my mind and body. With my history of depression it's rough to not be awake during daylight hours, as it worsens my general 'meh' mood.
Lately (past few months) I've been feeling less and less myself. I've been a bit irritable, and nowhere near as happy/bouncy/peppy as I (used to) naturally be. Soo... I went to the doctor and got a prescription for Nuvigil. I'm on day (night) two currently and.... WOW!
The first night I felt as though I was taking some sort of recreational drug. I was giddy, giggling, head-spinning, can't tell up from down or concentrate on a thing, euphoric. Tonight was much better in that I was awake, in a good mood, and able to concentrate on tasks, not to mention super productive.
I usually avoid all medications, as I just don't think they are the way to solve problems. In my opinion medications fix the symptoms, not the problems. However, so far, this medication has been heaven sent! For the first time in what feels like ages, I am .... ME! Currently I'm only taking half of the dose my doctor prescribed, as I thought the full dose was too much. Tonight will be my first night on the full dose and I'm sort of scared, but also very excited. Lets see how this goes...!
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